“I guess that’s just the cowboy in us all”

I have a secret.

When I was a senior in high school, my friend Amy shared a song with me that I had never heard before: “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack. …This was country music?

Soon I was watching CMT (Country Music Television) whenever my father and brother were out of the apartment. I would have CNBC held in the remote so that I could easily switch back the second they returned. I loved “This Kiss” by Faith Hill, and thought “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy” was hilarious.

This was in Houston, Texas—but none of my closest friends listened to country music, and my family certainly didn’t. I became a quiet fan, and to this day have bought very few CDs (Tim McGraw, Dixie Chicks, JoDee Messina, Taylor Swift). Ultimately, the “listen but don’t buy” excuse has been about as thin as “smoke but don’t inhale”: the truth is, I love the music.

I’m a city girl, but this afternoon the song “The Cowboy in Me” brought tears to my eyes. I may joke about the song “Jesus, Take the Wheel”, but I never skip it when it comes onto my Pandora station. And “Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off” cracks me up every time.

Look, yes, a part of me wishes I could at least say that I listen to classic country, not top 40 pop; that I like the type of country that is more genre-bending and blending, with bluegrass and folk. But that’s not really true.

I love country because it is not ashamed to be crude, to be funny, to be spiritual, to be cheesy. Men can cry and women are full of piss and vinegar—or the other way around. People marry their high school sweethearts, work with their hands, and are grateful for everything they have. They drink; they swear; they pray.

I don’t know. If it’s a fiction—I like it. And while I’m still embarrassed, I’m trying to own it. Because, in the end, where else could you hear a song called “My Give a Damn’s Busted” or see an album titled “Did I Shave My Legs for This?”

(Country music is the friend you love because she tells the truth, even when it hurts. And she always, somehow, manages to be happy.)

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